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Fear of Failure? Are You Saying No To Who You Are Meant To Be?

We all know that Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

Did you know he also invented the stock ticker, the electric vote recorder, the automatic telegraph, the electric safety miner’s lamp, fluorescent lights, the motion picture camera, and the phonograph?

While struggling with the light bulb, he replied, “I have not failed seven hundred times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” From the book, “The Power of Patience”, by M.J. Ryan

Do you have a fear of failure?

Do you cringe at the thought of making a mistake?

Do you expect the worst to happen rather than the best?

Fear of failure is a common reason people hesitate to say YES. For many, the attachment to doing something that leads to an expected or desired outcome often determines whether an experience is viewed as positive or negative. It’s only good if it goes the way you want.

I was doing a presentation a few years ago and one woman said, “Failure would be devastating. I know I would be so disappointed with myself for a long time.” To her, it was one of the worse things she could do. OUCH!

If you do something that does not lead to the outcome you desire or hope, how do you use that experience to help you positively? Do you see it as a learning opportunity or a reason to beat yourself up?

I have a good friend who is a health professional. Years ago we worked briefly together to expand his business. He talked about wanting to offer workshops, sponsoring speakers, perhaps creating some products… his eyes lit up with passion as he talked about his desire to reach more people beyond his local area. He’d been talking about expanding his business for quite some time and he was stalling. He joked about being a big procrastinator and wondering if he’d be able to break through his fears of failure.

Whenever he got close to pushing through his resistance, he’d back away by saying, “My business is doing well. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have”. He admitted that his parents often settled for the status quo because they feared the unknown and their fears made a powerful impact on his view of risk and expansion.

After a few months of working together, he quit. He was too afraid to push through his blocks and go the distance. In the next few years he sponsored a few workshops and now he focuses strictly on his practice. Is he happy and content? He seems to be. Or perhaps he has convinced himself to want less than his soul is asking of him to be? Who knows? This is his life journey.

Being successful in any area of your life includes a learning curve. That means making mistakes and experimenting with decisions and actions to create the life you are here to live. Accomplishments can be defined as the completion of an action. ANY action. I encourage you to be willing to recognize and appreciate your courage to both succeed and fail, which is all a success, really)!

Do you think Donald Trump was a huge success on his first attempt?

How about Oprah? If you look at where she started and who she has become, her rise to becoming a powerfull influence for women has soared over the years because she has had the guts to set a new standard for talk shows and the willingness to be a transparent model of authenticity to people worldwide.

How about you? Are you the same person you were five years ago? If you’ve been growing yourself and your business, the answer would be no. Even if you haven’t put a lot of time and energy into personal growth, it is impossible to remain the same indefinitely. We are either moving forwards or we are moving backwards.

We use past experiences as a barometer to measure future experiences and projected outcomes. We can hesitate to say YES because we believe, “If this happened in the past, I fear the same experience will repeat in my future”. We can use past experiences as excuses to take risks and take quantum leaps. To expect the past to repeat itself exactly is impossible because we aren’t the same people today that we were then. The potential for themes and patterns to recur is probable if you haven’t done the inner work to clear limiting beliefs, resolve past pain, and self-sabotage.

In fact, we can manufacture any reason to avoid doing anything we don’t want to do. The more evidence we collect to prove our reasoning, the better positioned we are to make our case to ourselves and to others. And we can become brilliant in our defense to avoid stepping out of our comfort zones or retreating back when the going gets tough. Enlisting others to support our case makes things a whole lot easier to avoid.

Common beliefs regarding failure:

  • I have to get it right (perfect)
  • I don’t have what it takes
  • If I say no, people won’t like me
  • I have nothing valuable to offer
  • If I’m really “me” people won’t like or love me
  • Things don’t usually turn out well for me (self-fulfilling prophecy?)
  • It’s too hard
  • Success happens for other people not me
  • I’m not good enough, smart enough, lovable enough..
  • I’m not ready
  • I won’t be able to handle….
  • I’ll lose…. (fill in the blanks)  and that would be devastating  (Is that really true?)
  • Maybe what I have is enough and I should be happy with the way things are and not want more

Which ones do you relate to?

Self-fulfilling prophecies give us even more ammunition to prove why something doesn’t work out well. Wikipedia’s definition of self-fulfilling prophecy is “a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to be true”. If we are resistant, expecting something to go poorly or fear it might go well (fear of success), you can bet we’ll find ways to sabotage ourselves so we can prove we’re right. That gives us permission to come back and say, “I told you so!” to ourselves and others because we didn’t really say YES!

It is through the trial and error experiences that we develop our unique formula for happiness and success.

When I was an addictions counselor we talked about trusting the process and the journey of moving from one place to the next. The challenge? Having the patience and tolerance to go the distance without getting discouraged or scared. “I want it to happen NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

There is a difference between failing at an effort and taking on the identity of a failure.

There is a difference between making a mistake, and identifying with result

Do-ing something and Be-ing something are two vastly different truths!

Yes, you will minimize the chances of too many costly mistakes in your life by doing your homework, making informed decisions, and creating solid strategies to implement. Remember, that even with the best plan that includes anticipating possible outcomes; life will still bring you the unexpected. When you include failures and mistakes as part of your strategy to success and outlook on life you will rebound more quickly to each situation as it arises so that you continue to move toward your destination.

Getting things you may not want will help you get that much clearer about what you do want. In that way, your commitment to your dreams and goals become more compelling.

We are human beings! We react, respond, screw up, and do things brilliantly.

My philosophy?

  • Every situation offers a growth and healing opportunity. Look for the gifts and blessings in each experience that challenges you and invites you to be more than you are, especially when it is undesired.
  • Approach life with more self-love and compassion for those times you judge yourself to be less than your best.
  • Aspire to see yourself and others through the eyes of love (if you aren’t already there!). And when you have those moments when you slip into your humanity rather than your Divinity, forgive yourself and use the experience as an opportunity to heal and grow.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Remember to laugh and have fun.
  • You are a powerfull Creator. At every moment you make choices that will either bring your joy or misery depending on your attitude. What will you create today?
  • Experiment with new things and learn all you can from each experience regardless of the outcome.

Fear of success and fear of failure are two sides of the same experience.  By definition, success and failure is can be seen from multiple viewpoints. Both results offer opportunities for self-discovery and change.  It is through the process of succeeding and failing that we come to know more about who we are and what we want. We learn about our unique talents, skills, and gifts through the opportunities we create that invite us to shine. And we learn how to develop the courage to be the Light we are meant to be in the world.

“When we come to the edge of all the light we have
And must take a step into the darkness of the unknown
We must believe one of two things
Either we will find something firm to stand on
Or, we will be taught to fly.” -
Patrick Overton Copyright © 1975 The Leaning Tree

We learn to cultivate strength, courage, and faith that give us wings when we are meant to fly! To live fully, you must fully participate – succeeding and failing for the joy of the experience. Life’s a journey! Enjoy the ride :D

 Ready to create your  greatest life?

Join me for a four-week mini journey into Courage and POWER beginning Wednesday, June 11. Learn how to make fear your friend, unleash your inner hero, and partner with the Divine POWER within you to liberate you from the grip of your mind AND start thriving in ways you never have before. Early tuition ends Thursday, June 5, midnight EST.

 Click below to learn more

>> Journey into Courage and POWER <<

This is the last time I am hosting this life-changing program that has helped people worldwide to transform their relationship with fear so that they could stop holding life back and thrive in way they never have before!

Blessings,

Lorraine

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Courage: Liberation From Five Myths That Can Keep You Stuck In Fear

“When experiencing new and exciting changes in life how can you expect to know how it will all go? There are times when you’re required to step blindly off the ledge only to find that with faith you are transported on the wings of love to a new and beautiful vista to explore! Today is such a day.. let fear be what it is, and let faith help you soar regardless of the fear.” – Colette Baron-Reid

What you may not realize is that from the moment you were conceived through age 6, you have been bombarded by thousands of emotional charges that have impacted on who you have become. In addition to what you have inherited from your ancestors and your family, your world has been shaped by cultural conditioning and your personal life experiences.

Fear has been a dominant energy on this planet for thousands of years. 2012 heralded a shift of consciousness and a new era of love, peace, and prosperity. The grip of fear will begin to wane as you “come home” and wake up to who you really are with the Divine presence within you to be your guiding Light.

You may view fear as an enemy, something to be gotten rid of rather than seeing fear’s value as a friend and pathway to your homecoming.  Fear can keep you stuck and frozen or be a motivator and catalyst for change. Healthy fear can be a positive benefit to your life. Irrational fear can keep you separate from the life you were born to live and separate from God.

When your fears become strong, you might get very small because a younger part of you, an inner child is feeling frightened and needing some comfort.

As long as you judge anything about yourself to be bad or wrong, the peace and self love you seek (that we all seek) will not happen.  To feel whole means creating a welcoming place within you to love and embrace all of you – your thoughts, your beliefs, your feelings and your actions.  The first step is a willingness to love and accept yourself as you are with COURAGE and an open heart.

You are not broken, you do not need to be fixed, there is nothing wrong with you.

Changing your relationship with fear is a step forward to reunite you with your Sacred Self and the Divine while calming the fearfull “little you” inside.

Here are 5 myths many folks have about fear:

1) Using affirmations will change your fear beliefs if you say and write them for 21 days. Some people swear by affirmations and they do have some benefit. BUT, your subconscious is in charge of what you think, feel and do as a human being. Affirmations only work with the conscious mind that operates a teeny tiny part of your mind and don’t go deep enough to create long-last shifts in beliefs.

2) Positive mindset will change fears. Relying on your “attitude” to shift fears and worry will work in short bursts. Fears return because no permanent inner shift has occurred. Real transformation goes beyond mindset.

3) If you face fear head on, the fear will become overwhelming. Attempting to repress fear only gives it more power to impact your life especially through self-sabotage. Shining a light on the illusions and fear your mind has created invites them to crumble, freeing you from its grip forever. Transformation can occur in seconds.

4) Fear is an enemy and something to be gotten rid of. Whatever you judge within yourself as bad or wrong creates more separation and pain from who you really are and the connection with Source. Fear can be used positively when turned into any ally.

Read my article, “9 Valuable Gifts from Fear”

5) Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is about following your heart in spite of what your mind and feelings are telling you; being willing to take those leaps of faith to follow your Divine urges. Faith is feeling trust before the evidence shows up and having the courage to do whatever it takes “in fear”.

Take an honest look at what is driving your thoughts, feelings, and actions to create your current reality.

Is it love? Is it faith? Is it courage?  Is it Grace?

Or is fear, pain, struggle and scarcity?

Is your scaredy cat still controlling your life and keeping you from feeling fully alive and prosperous???

Are you believing everything you THINK?

This is a time for new beginnings and shedding old paradigms that suck the life out of your heart.

This is YOUR year!

Ready to create your new courage story and rewrite your future?

Join me for a four-week mini journey into Courage and POWER beginning Wednesday, June 11. Learn how to make fear your friend, unleash your inner hero, and partner with the Divine POWER within you to liberate you from the grip of your mind AND start thriving in ways you never have before. Early tuition ends Thursday, June 5, midnight EST.

Click below to learn more

>> Journey into Courage and POWER <<

This is the last time I am hosting this life-changing program that has helped people worldwide to transform their relationship with fear so that they could stop holding life back and thrive in way they never have before!

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

2 Comments

Why Trying To Get “Rid Of Fear” Is A Mind Game You Can’t Win

“You are allowed to be scared. Fear doesn’t come up because you did something wrong, you’re doomed, or you look funny. Fear comes up because you’re not seeing some gorgeous, valuable and much-needed jewel right where you’re standing, and it will absolutely not let you go out that door without it.” - Mark Silver

I’ve been dancing with fear all my life. For example, when I was in my 30’s I overcame fear of public speaking to become a sought after speaker and I moved to a new state with little money and no steady income to build a coaching/spiritual guidance/therapy practice that is approaching its 28th year. Was it scary? Hell yeah.

How did I deal with my fears and doubts? At the time I used what most people were working with: affirmations, creative visualization, focusing on being in the present, breathing, hypnosis, emotionally eating….techniques geared to interrupt the mental messages, body sensations, and change beliefs and “get rid” of the fear feelings.

The focus was all about stopping and getting rid of unwanted fears and feelings.

In the late 1990’s my life fell apart for the second time.  After buying a new home, a new car, doing some home renovations, my therapy practice suddenly began to steadily decline. Money fears created a panic and I found the usual mind control techniques failed to provide any long term relief. I had periods of feeling terrified, helpless, angry, desperate, and sad. At other times I saw something miraculous happening that would change my life if I just stayed strong and trusting to walk the distance through the darkness into the Light.

What was missing?

I began to understand the missing pieces.  I realized that facing fear is not about overcoming it, it is about walking through it. I began looking at fear in a new light…

Instead, imagine seeing fear as an ally to:

  • Keep you out of harm’s way by alerting you to danger
  • Help you to discern when you need to set healthy boundaries to be safe and protected
  • Support you in developing courage to show up to LIFE
  • Build faith in yourself, others, and God
  • Provide motivational and inspirational energy to break through perceived limitations and illusions to stand in your greatness.
  • Show you when the “little you” inside needs attention and comfort; to feel love, care, and protection
  • Empower you to find your voice in your relationships, your business and in the message you wish to share with the world.
  • And most importantly, show you when you have disconnected from the Divine within you, the True Source of your Power.

Trying to get “rid of fear” is a mind game you can’t win.

As long as you see your fears as an enemy to defeat, you will continue to wage war against yourself.

To transform fear you must walk through it… to see the illusions and reclaim your Power.

The darkness or challenge is a pathway to the Light. You can get stuck in the story of a perceived problem. When you look for the deeper meaning of each experience that challenges you, you will always find healing, learning and growth opportunities.

Debbie Ford once wrote:

“Love the fears that you hold in your hand more than anything you have ever loved before.

Think about all the hours you have spent trying to deny, avoid, and get rid of these fears, and thank them for showing you your human limitations

Thank your fear for sending you out to look for ways to get rid of it. Look at how you have grown, healed and evolved in your search! Think of all you’ve discovered during your search! 

Thank your fear for bringing you into a journey of self-discovery to find your True Self and reunite with The Divine

Thank your fear for guiding you to see illusions created by your mind and being the catalyst for inspiration and motivation to take steps in faith, trust, and courage.

Thank your fear for helping you to reach out and connect with others, for your fear is probably what brought you to read this post!

Thank your soul for bringing fear into your life as a pathway to find your way back home to God – this presence within you that loves you dearly– this energy that always triumphs fear.

Love your fears as you would anything you cherish- bless them, honor them, and use them as the sacred reminders that they are…lighting the way back to the wholeness of your Sacred Self and into the loving embrace of the Divine.”

Beautiful wisdom….

You are living at an auspicious time in history, waking up to see life through a new set of eyes in this Era of Enlightenment.  Fear will continue to be a part of your life experience as you grow and evolve. A critical key to dance in this new energy is to learn how to live in the present moment, embracing each experience without resistance and allowing your feelings to be fully felt without trying to control, manage, move, and direct their elimination.

Any attempt you do to try to control your experience will create more resistance and suffering.

Imagine a fire burning and your resistance is like continuing to throw logs on the fire to keep it going.

Feel your fears (and every emotion) without focusing on the mental story your mind/ego is creating.

Experience your emotions as the energy they are and breathe into them, doing NOTHING. Just feel, breathe and notice… body sensations, thoughts swirling…whatever…..let your emotions play out….

Without resistance and actively engaging your efforts to get rid of or stop what you don’t want to feel, the emotions will begin to burn out and fall apart leading to transformation. Peace and Grace will rush in when you stop fighting.

I always make a connection with the Divine; to feel the Presence within me to help me stay strong and present as I walk through my pain which is part of the Grace Release Process I use and teach my clients to master.

In fact, the most powerfull partner to help you change your relationship with fear and have an extraordinary life is God/Higher Power/Jesus/The Divine/Inner Presence….

Final note: In the last five years I have faced a third period of my life falling apart; almost losing my home, financial debt, business decline, breast cancer diagnosis (I am quite well) and many dark moments of pain, I have never felt stronger, more alive or richer. What has helped me is my community, my faith and trust, my inner guidance, most of all, God. Fear no longer dominates my life. Joy, peace, abundance, gratitude, love……does.

Embrace your fears with love instead of judging them and doing battle. Your life will change…. :D

Would you like to know how to turn fear into an ally to live your most vital, abundant, soul fulfilling life with the POWER of Grace to guide you?

Great news!

Join me for a four-week mini journey into Courage and POWER beginning Wednesday, June 11. Learn how to make fear your friend, unleash your inner hero, and partner with the Divine POWER within you to liberate you from the grip of your mind AND start thriving in ways you never have before. Early tuition ends Thursday, June 5, midnight EST.

Click below to learn more

>> Journey into Courage and POWER <<

This is the last time I am hosting this life-changing program that has helped people worldwide to transform their relationship with fear so that they could stop holding life back and thrive in way they never have before!

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

8 Comments

Forgiveness Helped Me Transform Breast Cancer TWICE

As many of you know, in 2012 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Last year I shared my healing journey. If you missed hearing that special call, click here to sign up and access the recording.

I talked about how my cancer experience was a blessing without fear and worry; a shining Light rich with insights and invitations to do some deeper healing work to liberate me from decades of repressed feelings guilt, anger, grief, helplessness, abandonment…. especially towards myself.

I realized I had forgiveness and self-love heart healing work to do that related to my mother’s life and death from leukemia at age 66.

And, from my research I discovered that symptoms can come and go and that making deliberate lifestyle changes can dramatically fortify the body’s immune system and healing abilities to restore health.

So, I chose to have a lumpectomy and was guided by my body’s intelligence and my education about cancer to decline the recommended traditional aftercare protocols including chemo and radiation.

Using acupuncture, massage, exercise, nutritional changes, combined with deep emotional healing I facilitated and experienced with my team of gifted healers, coaches and health practitioners, support from friends and the Divine, I walked through the experience with Love and Grace in health.

From the many responses I received from folks, I know that my decisions seemed bold and unconventional, even risky. I refused to make choices from fear or to give my power away just because that’s the standard protocol.

Actually cancer treatment has progressed very far and unless you do your due diligence you can miss out on knowing the latest advances and options.

Last year I had my annual mammogram and a teeny amount of cancer cells showed up about an inch from the first lumpectomy incision. It was a surprise because I felt I had released so much pain initially and now another layer was surfacing.

This is why I coach people to let go of, “I thought I was done with this!” and stay open to embrace anything else that emerges on a deeper level.

Because I had refused the traditional cancer regime my surgeon asked me to keep an open mind in considering my next steps.

1. Mastectomy

2. Chemo and radiation

3. A second lumpectomy

4. Do nothing

So, taking a breath and stepping back into gratitude, I was shown that I was still holding onto guilt and anger towards myself.

I was guided to suspend taking any medical actions or further testing for three months while I focused on my inner healing with all of my gifts and resources.

Standing in faith and trust with a medical diagnosis like cancer and not doing what “you are supposed to do.” was very uncomfortable. I vacillated between peace and trust in what I was doing and feeling irresponsible for my health. The idea of getting cut again was upsetting.

So, I requested a follow-up mammogram to see if anything had changed and I was open to go through with a second surgery if needed.

Guess what happened?

The cancer cells they saw three months earlier were gone. A six month follow-up was recommended.

On April 18 2014 one week before my birthday, I received a clean mammogram report.  I recall anxiously sitting in the waiting room for the radiology result and the wave of joy and gratitude when she handed me the report and said,  “See you in a year”. I thanked and praised God all the way home after a quick stop at Trader Joe’s :D

Had I not followed my heart, I would have had an unnecessary surgery and maybe worse…..

For me it was proof that symptoms can come and go. When you remove stress and pain, the body can heal it itself.

This was NOT a negative experience for me and I don’t see myself as a cancer survivor because I never identified with the diagnosis. I created an experience that provided a blessed opportunity to reveal pain that was ready to be healed and released.

It is time to change the consciousness around cancer and dis-ease.

I celebrate this victory for my body and my heart without having to do battle. I KNOW that the inner healing I did with forgiveness, self-forgiveness and self-love played a pivotal role in my ability to heal.

I also feel that with the energy shifts happening on the planet affecting us body, mind and spirit, we must make thoughtful decisions that will support physical alignment and energetic harmony.

‘Dis-ease is a wake-up call to look at yourself; at changes you are being called to make including ones that you might be resisting, old repressed pain that needs to be seen, felt and released, or something deeply buried that is surfacing for healing.

In any situation, you must make choices that feel right for you and that resonate with your beliefs and Truth even when it goes against the norm. If you believe that you have the ability to heal, then you will. If you believe that you need medical intervention to heal, then that is true for you.

Cancer and it’s recovery process wreaks havoc on the body and emotionally. What courage it takes to go through this regime! My heart goes out to all who choose this route and the toll it takes emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Every experience is uniquely individual and each person must make the choices that are right for them.

I have had rapid healings before and have always included alternative therapies in my life experiences. Miracles are a part of my life and I continue to be delighted by the many forms they take!

I’m gratefull for the doctors and hospital staff who are part of my team to support me at being my best. I believe there is a time and valid need for their professional expertise and healing environments.

As a society we have become dependent on using medication or scheduling surgeries to suppress and repress what we want to get rid of. We react in fear, give our power away to others we think are wiser than we are and often make decisions we regret

Quick fixes are band-aids. Looking for the next technique to get rid of something you don’t want to deal with or only working with symptoms instead of being willing and courageous to look deeper at the cause and message our heart and body is trying to communicate will bring temporary relief rather than a permanent release.

I believe that the inner healing work is a critical key to freedom from pain and suffering. Being fully alive means FEELING.

You are an energy being. Thought, words, and emotions carry energy that creates. If you are not allowing the energy to flow freely from you and through you, and stuffing feelings down in your body, the energy building up over time will create stress of the immune system and compromise health, well-being, and happiness…

What you do not release will create something within you and in your world. Dis-ease…..

Life is a reflection of what is happening within you. Whether facing a health, financial, relationship challenge or one with yourself, you must have the willingness and courage to dig deep and release whatever pain is locked within you that is ready to be healed.

And for goodness sake, do not do this work alone. You will likely get in your own way! Having a community of support can mean the different between struggling and suffering and walking in love and Grace.

Want some personal help? Private sessions are available. Learn more

I believe that heart healing is essential to living an awake, meaningfull, and abundant life with the Divine. My mission this year is creating healing processes and energy activations designed to release pain and raise consciousness through transformation.

My next heart healing monthly teleseminar will focus on Self-Forgiveness. Join me May 14.

>> Self-Forgiveness Healing Healing Call <<

And if you live near the Philly area, or in Maryland, Delaware or New Jersey, Join me for a Day of Forgiveness on May 17. It will be a life-changing heart-liberating event!

>> A Day of Forgiveness with Lorraine Cohen <<

You came into this life with everything you need to succeed and create heaven on earth. Lead with your guidance rather than your mind and ego and you will always be guided to what is right and best for you.

Trust that! :D

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

4 Comments

Living from Spirit: Following the Voice of Your Heart

“In the stillness and quiet you will hear the wisdom of your soul. All of the answers you seek are within you. “~ Lorraine Cohen

A few years ago I made a commitment to live my life by inviting my soul/spirit/The Divine /my Higher Self to be the guiding force in my life rather than my mind or ego. I have always had a strong intuition and I felt weary from all the drama I was creating!

I believe the living from spirit is the new way of being in this time of profound change and spiritual Enlightenment.

Not so simple though. It’s like being a stranger in a strange land and learning a new language. And when you are used to relying on your ego and mind to navigate your day, making the switch to live from the inside out takes practice and awareness!

I am often asked how to distinguish the voice of the ego from the voice of the soul’s heart especially when making decisions.

Here are a few things to consider:

The voice of your ego creates tension and constriction in your body and focuses on problems and impossibilities. It usually focuses on the downside of life and cannot dream bigger than it’s ability to imagine.

When the voice of your soul speaks, there is a feeling of expansiveness and peace in the body.  You might have a sense excitement even if there is some fear. I find that voice is encouraging, uplifting and confident that all will be well. Your soul sees limitless possibilities.

Here are seven ways your heart guides you:

1. Resonance – when something feels right in your body and in your heart. Pay attention to your body’s intelligent communication. It never lies.

2. Reoccurring thoughts, symbols, messages, and dreams. This one I notice most often as a sign for me to take action.

3. Negative vibes – you feel something is “off” and is moving you to back away. Staying present and connected to your body is a key to receiving your soul’s guidance.

4. Inner knowing – you just know and trust without needing any further information or evidence.

5. Synchronicities, meaningfull  and delightfull coincidences. I call those God winks.

6. Longing - We experience both human and soul longings as a strong, persistent deep desire, yearning, hunger, thirst, aching or craving for something that feels missing from our life that can feel unattainable or distant.

7. Divine messengers - folks who deliver the messages at just the right time. You might hear, read, or see something that is exactly what you need. You might receive or experience something that is an answer to a prayer. That happens to me a lot!

You might find an answer comes to a question you have in your mind before you finish your thought because the Presence inside already knows your needs and wants.

Sometimes the guidance is so subtle you can miss it so don’t get attached to thinking that your soul voice is always the same. Use these as guidelines to discover how your wise self communicates with you and pay attention to those nudges and hunches.

And if you miss the guidance, take comfort in knowing that your soul will lovingly keep nudging you to get your attention. I’ve had a few two-by-fours!

We can get lost inside of the roles we play and lose sight of the truth that we are more than what we do; that we have a depth of heart and spirit that, once revealed, can be a powerfull creative force in our lives.

The Essence of who you are is NOT your body, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions or your life circumstances. Your soul expresses itself through your ego, mind, feelings, and actions – through your humanity. With practice you get better at knowing “who” is talking so that you begin leading with your soul and partnering your mind to make informed, grounded, and realistic choices that support your dreams.

All aspects of your personality and Spirit serve you to co-create heaven on earth.

No matter what choice and action you take, every person and circumstance is in service to your growth and evolution.

NOTHING is ever wasted!

Life is calling you to stretch beyond all of the can’ts, shoulds and shouldn’ts; to be willing to break the rules of who you were taught to be to become the person you dare to be. Life is a journey of courage and passion.

Living from spirit by allowing your soul and Divinity to lead rather than your ego is not always comfortable. It requires being ok with “I don’t know” and allowing things to unfold with faith and trust.  Not always so easy!  Fear and worries rise up and imagination runs wild.

Life is a journey of courage and passion. It’s normal for fear and worry to arise when stepping out of your comfort zone. The key is knowing how to use transform fear into courage when following your heart.

Some days you take life one minute at a time, an hour at a time and a day at a time so you can take one step at a time. That is why having a strong bond with the your “Essence” is critical to your inner foundation so that you can weather life’s storms with ease and Grace!

To strengthen your inner foundation with courage, join me for my next monthly heart healing call on March 12, “Transforming Fear into Courage”. Learn more about these life-changing calls here

It’s all perfect! All is well! :D

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

 

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Making Peace with “I Don’t Know.”

Trust the process

Do you ever wonder, “What am I supposed to be doing?”

That’s a common question when going through periods of transition. Transition is the psychological reaction to change - anger, confusion, fear, anxiety, grief…

Frankly, I think life is an ongoing transition because change is always happening.

With the consciousness shifts occurring on the planet, there can be many moments when life seems to be a great mystery and all you have are questions that seem to have few answers. At least the answers you want and hope for to soothe any anxiousness or fear arising when living with uncertainty.

Years ago, I read, ” The Art of Possibility” by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. It’s one of my favorite books.  The authors view uncertainty as a doorway to possibilities. What a fabulous way to look at uncertainty! Possibilities invite us to think of positive things that could happen which is a very different way to frame the idea of uncertainty.

Seeing life as a great mystery invites us to let go of trying to figure things out;  to become adventurous and curious to receive the next clue that leads us on an unfolding story. Living in this way allows us to make peace with being in the mystery, rather than having the “need to know or understand”.

For several years, I’ve been living in and out of “I don’t know.”

There have been periods of immense pain and confusion, and times of Grace and joy.

Throughout the most difficult periods, I have received so much abundant support to strengthen my faith, trust, and courage.

There have been moments when I think I have crystal clarity and when I take action, the outcome is different from what I want or expect.  The opportunity is to surrender and remember that there is a higher plan at work that is greater than my mind can comprehend.

My ego hates those times. Rebellion stirs. At times I have  I cried, stomped around, yelled at God, my inner victim comes roaring out…

What am I missing?

What do I need to see, feel, know, do… to change my life?

What do I need shift or let go of  to allow more Grace in my life?

What???

How????

Just tell me what to do!!!

And when I have fully felt everything and acknowledged my helpless to do anything more or change the situation I am struggling with, Grace comes in. I still don’t know anything more and it doesn’t matter because through all of that release some old pain has burned out, I feel at peace.

There is NOTHING to do.

Until we become helpless, The Divine is helpless to help us.

What is the difference between desperation and helplessness?

Here is my distinction:

When we feel desperate, our mind and ego frantically begins searching for ways to solve the “problem” that is causing pain, fear, struggle… In desperation, we seek to gain control to manage, move, or direct the situation to make the situation go away, to get away from the situation, or get the result we want.  We attach to our own perceived sense of Power and push against life in an effort to triumph over it.

Whew!

When we feel helpless, we acknowledge the limitation of our own power in being able to do anything more than the best we have done. In realizing we have done all we can and been all we can be, we completely turn things over to The Divine to handle … trusting that the help that comes will be for our best and highest good from a Presence that loves us dearly and wants our lives to be happier than we could ever imagine.

Grace comes pouring in when you finally “let go and let God”.

Today I am living in quite a bit of “I don’t know.” What I do know is that the answers will come when they are ready to be revealed. “I don’t know” simply means, “I don’t know …yet”.  The more I push and demand to know, the more disconnected I am to receive the guidance that is speaking to me and to all of us in every moment.

Not knowing does not mean that you are at risk, in danger, or that your worse case scenario will be actualized. And yes…what you fear might happen…..might happen for real.

Make peace with not knowing. Struggling and pushing to understand creates misery.

This is where faith and trust come in.

Today people are living through some of their greatest fears and have come out the other side with a greater life than they ever had before. They are happier, thriving, and loving their life because they had the chops to go the distance through the dark places that brought them in the Light of Grace and Love.

The world is “waking up” to their destiny and remembering who we really are. We feel like strangers in a strange land learning a new language without a road map. Life seems to be falling apart to make way for new beginnings.

That’s the journey I am on. I don’t know what is next. I’m not sure I know much about anything other than trusting that I am exactly where I am meant to be and I am not traveling this path alone.

Today, I will take a walk outside and have a thoughtful conversation with the God of my understanding,  create sacred space for my spiritual practices, and take whatever inspired action calls to me as the day unfolds.

Today I will appreciate all the miracles, blessings and gifts I receive  through my relationships and life experiences. The rest I surrender into the hands of my Divine because that is all I know. And that is ok.

These are a few of my favorite quotes that keep me from sliding down the rabbit hole:

“The moment you move out of the way, you make room for the miracle to take place” Dr. Barbara King

“There is a light in this world, a healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. We sometimes lose sight of this force when there is suffering, and too much pain. Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call and answer in extraordinary ways.” ~Mother Teresa ?

“When we come to the edge of all the light we have
And must take a step into the darkness of the unknown
We must believe one of two things
Either we will find something firm to stand on
Or, we will be taught to fly.”

by Patrick Overton Copyright © 1975 The Leaning Tree

Click on the link below to download some beautiful healing music called “Beautiful Rapture”  http://www.eraofpeace.org/music.php

You do not travel this journey alone. If you truly knew who walked with you every day, you would never be afraid.

Living a joyfull and abundant life is within your grasp if you are willing to courageously liberate yourself from fears, doubts, and not “enoughness” to know your value, claim your Divine power and live your purpose NOW!

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

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The Art of Surrender: Resistance Is Futile!

Surrender has definitely been one of my themes this year. I can speak quite a bit on the concept of surrender – “Let go and let God. The present is perfect. You are exactly where you are meant to be…trust, breathe, all is well….”

Embracing and embodying surrender is a whole different reality.

I’ve often used the metaphor of when you first learn how to swim it is not unusual to also be taught how to float. You lean back with your arms stretched and allow the water to hold you up – like a buoy.

The first few times you learn how to float can be scary; to trust the water to keep you from sinking and when you actually let go, it’s quite a pleasant experience of “going with the flow and feeling supported”.

Surrender does not come easily.  Surrender isn’t about giving up rather, it is about giving in. And what we are really asked to surrender is the struggle and resistance we create to push against life; to push against the people and situations we don’t like and want.

Surrender invites us to look at what we are giving energy to that either connects or separates us for Source.

The last three years have stretched me so far out of my comfort zones and taken me into deeper places within myself than I ever could have imagined.  I recall people I admire say, “You have to be willing to lose everything  to have everything.”

Ooooh…. gulp!

If I really let go of EVERYTHING, my home, my friends, my work, my challenges and pain… my whole life and surrender it all…then what?

I understand that in theory and in practice and I realize that I don’t know how to completely let go and TRUST God to take care of me.

In a conversation this morning with a dear friend I shared my dance with surrender. As some fear kicked in I said to her, “If I let go of everything, that doesn’t mean that I have to actually lose everything, right?”  She chuckled at how I was trying to negotiate my surrender. That’s what the mind does in order to maintain control.

Resistance is futile.

Struggle is a choice.

You either float or sink.

That’s what I am learning this year…how to surrender with Grace. I know how to surrender in struggle and it is exhausting. I still feel my mind trying to maintain control because it feels at risk and threatened by some of the challenges I am walking through.

In the same space, I feel an inner strength that comes through my connection with God that assures me that all is well.  That’s the duality we are all experiencing that is feeding the struggle between our mind and our soul.

With this historical shift of consciousness we are experiencing and witnessing on the planet, energy and time has accelerated. Our mind and body can’t keep up with the speed of how fast things are moving!

Fears are running high for so many people. It’s a habit to grab onto people and things in an effort to feel   some control when you are experiencing upheaval in your life.

We’re being pushed out of our comfort zones to “wake up” and remember who we are. And to live in ways that is natural for us as spiritual beings and feels unnatural as human beings.

If you feel like a stranger in a strange land learning a new language, you are…. in many ways. And you may also feel a sense of “coming home” as you shed some of the illusions and fears that have governed your life for so long

Do you feel it?

I believe that the most important relationship in life is the one we have with God, whoever that is for you, to powerfully weather the inner storms of waking up and surrendering all that is no longer serving us in becoming the next and highest version of who we are being called to be.

Daily spiritual practices, strong self-care regimes, the inner transformation work, and having a strong network of support all contribute to being a welcoming place inside to walk through those dark narrow places of surrender with grace and courage.

Communing with your wise SELF will help you navigate through the noise in your head. Take time to engage in conversation with your personal Divine as if you were speaking to your dearest friend who loves you and wants you to be happy. Committing to develop your relationship with God is critical in mastering surrender and living an Awakened life.

Surrender is a natural way of being in an Awakened state. Struggle is a natural way of being in an unconscious state.

How do you want to live?

Remember the Serenity prayer?

God, grant the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

Surrender is part of serenity and walking in Grace!

Your transformational steps:

1. Notice where you are experiencing struggle in your life. What are you holding onto that you know in your heart you need to let go of and surrender?

2. What beliefs, fears, behaviors keep you engaged in resisting surrender?

3. How much is really true?

4. What do you need to surrender to shift from struggle into grace?

5. What is one step you will commit to surrender and let go?

Here is one step you can take now! My life altering 4-week program, Pathways to Awakening: Journey into Courage and POWER will  guide you in learning the art of surrender and it begins July 10!

Money and fear are the two most powerfull motivators or deflators today. Are you yearning to be liberated from pain, struggle, and fear? Are you ready to live your most vital, abundant, soul fulfilling life with the POWER of Courage and Grace to guide you? Join me to learn how to transform your inner foundation into strength, insecurity to confidence, and fear to courage. Experience Divinely created healing meditations and energy activations to release the past and open your heart - two critical factors in creating a joyfull, abundant “awake” life.

When you experience this new kind of POWER and courage, you will be propelled into an infinitely beautiful and inspiring future.   Take advantage of the early tuition through July 5. If you are ready to turn fear into an ally and live from passion and purpose, reserve your seat NOW and let your spirit fly. Learn more

Love and blessings,

Lorraine

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Playing The “What If? Game

 

what if

Fear can have a powerfull negative impact on our lives especially when it spirals into dread that grows from anticipated unknown  or troubling possibilities.

Our imagination can run wild with vivid details that can chain us to a life that is unwanted an unhappy.

The fact is no one can scare us better than we can. Most “what ifs” focus on worse case scenarios…”What if I lose my job?” or “What if I can’t pay my bills?” or “What if someone gets angry at me?”

Years ago I was having coffee with a colleague and the topic of fear came up. He asked me about one of my fears and I answered, “I have a fear of losing everything and being out on the street living as a homeless woman or a bag lady.”

He challenged me to heighten that fear and suggested the following scenario:

Imagine that I found myself in a town where I knew no one, had no money, no clothes except the ones I was wearing, no family, and no friends. As if I was just dropped there and had nothing except myself. He asked, “What would you do?”  I could feel the panic beginning to escalate and I didn’t want to play.

After my initial shock, my answers began to pour out. I said, “The first thing I’d do is look for work. I would accept any kind of job I could get to earn immediate cash. Then I would look for some place to sleep, any shelter that felt safe.”

The more I talked about what I would do, the calmer I felt. This “what if” scenario reminded me that I’m a thriver and willing to do whatever it takes to land on my feet. I always have and reminding myself of my abilities, tenacity, and courage was comforting. Whew!

In the same situation, what would you do?

Playing the “What if?” game can help to expose the truth about your fears so that you can claim responsibility for what you will do if the worst happens. You can realize that these horrific situations are more manageable than you imagined. AND you can also see that many of the things you imagine never, ever happen!

Our negative fears view life through a narrow lens and eliminate creative options and solutions. This game can help to expand your viewpoint and invite you to see things from a fresher perspective.

Here’s how to play:

Make a list of the specific fears that occupy your thoughts and might keep you up at night. After each “what if?” write down what you would do if your worse fears actually came true. Describe in detail what would happen and what you could do about it. Consider your options, resources, support, people….

After you’ve done that exercise, consider the opposite position

Make a list of all the best scenarios you can imagine. In other words, “what if everything you ever desired, dreamed about, yearned for…. happened.”

  • What would you do?
  • Would you be able to receive all this good with open arms?
  • Who would you become?

I recommend journaling your feelings and observations. Reflect on what you learned about yourself that can become your growing edge.

And remember that in every moment, you do not walk alone. The Divine is always with you as your life partner in creating a joy-filled abundant life!

Have a great day :D

Lorraine

15 Comments

Are You A Yes Butter….? How To Neutralize Resistance And Live A Rich Life


“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” ― Deepak Chopra

Change. Some people hate it; some people love it; some people intentionally create it. No matter what you think or feel about change, it is a constant in life.

What do you want most in your life? More money, a loving relationship, health, to make a difference in the world, prosper doing what you love, have more fun…?

If you work with affirmations, vision boards, visualizing meditations, gratitude journals for small portions of time each day and put the rest of your attention on negative thinking, all the positive imagining you do will be negated by the negative charges you are sending out into the Universe.

Everything is energy and vibration. If you wish for the best and imagine the worst consistently, guess what you will manifest?

I’ve been guilty of sabotaging my dreams and efforts because of fears and old beliefs about unworthiness. Not only did my mind kick into all the reasons why what I wanted was impossible or too difficult, I also created overwhelm so I wouldn’t have to do anything! Or, I was saying I wanted something half-heartedly and without being fully committed. One foot in..one foot out.

Sound familiar?

I realized I was sending mixed messages to the Universe by holding myself back and hiding out from fully showing up to Life.   I was creating drama and suffering by scaring myself out of Life.

Yes, I want this but….

No more

I chose to be done with “yes, but” and faced my resistance head on.

Guess what happened?

Doors opened.

Miracles happened.

Grace poured in with tons of love and abundance.

It’s been very cool…

Now I live more in wonder and curiosity.  I am not willing to allow my mind to keep me from the good stuff.

How about you?

When you want something do you really go for it?  Or do you use these reasons and excuses to rationalize why something is impossible before taking one step to find out whether it is true?

  • It’s too hard
  • I can’t afford it
  • I don’t have the time/it’s not the right time
  • I’m not smart enough/good enough
  • It’s too scary
  • It’s not possible because…
  • I don’t deserve it

Yeah, but….

Yeah, but….

It is important it is to be clear on what you really, really want. Too often we get caught up in what we think we should want or someone else’s dream.

Exercise: What Do You Really Want?

Take some time for contemplation and self-reflection and write your responses to:

1. What is one thing you really, really want?  Feel into your heart’s longing and passion.

2. What makes what you want so important? What will you get from having what you really want?

3. What will that add to your life that you don’t have now? (How will that change your life?)

4. Is this the right time? Do you have room in your life to receive what you want?

5. Do you have want you need ? (Systems, circle of support, space…?)

Now stop. Breathe. Feel into having what you really want. Notice your thoughts, emotions,  and body sensations.

Does your body feel expansive or constricted?

Play with Resistance

What resistance comes up when you begin to dream about what you want?

What favorite dramas, excuses and reasons do you use to tell yourself no to having what  you want?

What is one thing you will do to stretch out of your emotional “no” box?

It might be something that scares you that you know in your heart is a step you MUST take. You might need an accountability partner, coach, or group to help you move and keep moving.

As long as you keep using the same old blah, blah, blah  story and excuses, you will not move forward.

The truth is you don’t know for sure what is possible or what you might be capable of now if you don’t take that first step and the next. Your past does not dictate what your present and future will be. Neither does your current circumstances unless you believe that things will not improve. AND you do not know what God is creating for you to bring you higher.

You are either being led by fear and suffering or faith and trust.

When I want something badly enough and feel that intuitive guidance to take action, I can still get caught up in some resistance. That a signal for me to stop, take a few deep breaths, bring myself back into the present moment, and connect with God.

Within a short time, sometimes a few seconds or minutes, I can feel the heaviness lift, my mind clears, and I feel more connected inside.  Doing the inner work has shown me how to shift from inner chaos to a calm inner center.

When you want something badly enough you have to be willing to put consistent energy into following through. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to have what you are yearning for.

You must be willing to see life though a different lens; one that shows you that perceived obstacles are stepping stones and pathways to your dreams.

You have to be willing to ask for what you want, be vulnerable, look and feel silly, make mistakes, or feel scared to create the life of your dreams. It also takes commitment, passion, and tenacity to persevere.

And you must be willing to challenge and let go of the thought patterns and beliefs generated by your EGO that keep you separated from the deeper truth of who you really are.

Life is a journey of faith, trust, and courage to boldly go where you have never dared to go before when you know in your heart you must take that next step.

If you have a quick “impossibility’ response and you allow “no” beliefs to rule your life, you will continue to miss windows of opportunities that may end up as regrets.

The real question is, “How badly do you want something and what are you willing to do or be to have it?”

Life is meant to be lived not observed.

Don’t believe everything you think!

The story you tell is the story you live….

PS: My Soul Circle group is forming for April. Have the support of kindred spirits to neutralize “Yes, but”  to start living a rich and vital life. Learn more

Blessings,

Lorraine

6 Comments

Getting Rid of Fear And THRIVING In These New Energies

I continually hear people ask me, “How can I get RID of my fears?”

Did you know that when you approach fear from that perspective you cast judgment and condemnation towards yourself that separates you from your true Nature and God?

In this shift in consciousness, we must make a paradigm shift in how we think and feel about our fears or any thought and pattern we don’t like so we are moving into states of wholeness, peace, and love.

You will continue to be in conflict and inner struggle as long as you beat yourself up and judge yourself in any way including when you do or don’t do something out of fear!

Transformation is an internal energy shift that cannot be managed, controlled or directed by your mind and ego which is why learning new ways of living “with fear” in these new energies is critical .

You might be thinking, “I know this!!! I know I need to be more self-loving, more forgiving, more….!”  but you are still  getting hooked into old reactions. (Me too sometimes)

It’s not your fault if you are struggling with fears.

Fear has been controlling the world for centuries. It’s in your DNA. And there are many positives to fear you might not realize too.

That’s why 2012 and the years to follow are so exciting. This is your time to be liberated from the grip of your mind/ego  by the only one who can do that - God.

For this to happen, creating harmony with all parts of yourself is essential including your fears!

Living in the grip of fear and feeling powerless sucks.

You are not powerless.

If you are struggling with fear or any feeling or pattern you wish to change, the problem is HOW you are being WITH it - embracing ALL of you or bracing against yourself? Resistance to anything you don’t want only gives it more power to be alive in your life.

And if you are depending on your mind and ego to create the changes you want within yourself and your life, that is not where your true transformational power lies.

That’s like going to a mechanic to get your teeth cleaned.

The key is Love. It always comes back to love - the most powerfull transforming energy in Creation. That is your natural state and the essence of God.

You gotta line up your insides to attract what you want in your reality.

I can help. This is the work I do.

Take advantage of two resources designed to change your relationship with fear and thrive in these new energies. Experience leading edge approaches that can release years of pain and suffering, sometimes in a matter of minutes.

How?

The deepening processes and soul-guided meditations are so potent that folks continually report feeling lighter, more peacefull, confident and empowered to roll with life. They tell me how much more fun and abundant  their lives have become.

Want that?

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To your liberation!

Love and blessings,

Lorraine :D

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