The Courage To Say “No”
“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Cultural and childhood conditioning powerfully influences what you think, feel and do to “earn” love. Without feeling the freedom to express your authentic heart, you give your power away when you say yes or no out of fear or guilt.
True relationships are not that fragile. They can withstand the truth without suffering the loss of love.
Conflict is a powerfull way to foster a strong relationship with another. In the willingness and ability to resolve the “messiness” and upset with mutual respect, love, and honesty, trust is built.
When you mess up, own it. Tell the truth to yourself and claim your humanness. Make amends to others when appropriate to clean your stuff up. You will feel better inside when you restore inner and personal integrity.
It may require a lot of courage and self-love to say YES to yourself when you are used to living in sacrifice because you have been taught that’s’ what “good people” do. At first saying no may feel uncomfortable. People may not react well and take your no personally.
How others react is part of THEIR journey and your service to their growth. It is not your job to please others and be responsible for their happiness. It’s theirs.
Within my own circle of friends, I am blessed to feel safe and loved to BE me. My friendships are rock solid and we feel the freedom to be real without hesitation. We hold nothing back and when there is any conflict, it is cleared in a matter of minutes without taking things personally.
It has taken time to build deep trust with each other. There can still be moments when I shake inside to say something to them that feels scary and vulnerable.
We value our friendship more than the need to be right or to hide behind past pain. We have all been on a spiritual path and have done enough inner work to show up for each other in love. It’s very liberating!!
When you begin to love and value yourself, you will attract people into your life who love and value themselves and want to be with kindred spirits like you.
I believe we all want to feel free to be who we are and to feel loved in whatever way we show up. Setting boundaries can be done lovingly and firmly. A yes given with joy and love is much richer than one that is given from guilt and fear.
Be willing to create the relationships you yearn for by healing your heart. When you release your past burdens, you will liberate your True Self!
Love and blessings